I love interviews with successful people. They inspire me. They make me feel like there are no limits to what I can do if I do the infamous grind: work hard and sacrifice. But they also scare me, a little. Some success stories although filled with promise. Are also underlined with the habits of a lonely workaholic. With blurred lines between working for success and working out of an addiction. Leaving no room to grow in other areas of their life.
Sometimes I battle with the thought that I will become one of them. They say their friends stop calling. Or they lose themselves because everything they do is about work. Or they wished they spent more time with the ones they love. But instead, they stay on their grind. And they have the money and accolades to show for it. But there’s a “lonely” part to success, they say.
And as I grind. I can’t help but wonder, does it have to be that way?
I mean. The whole point of us working so hard in the first place is to enjoy the fruits of our labor. And to enjoy it with the ones we love. I don’t think anyone will disagree. But it’s unfortunate how many of us have not figured out what that looks like.
Instead, we become consumed with being “the boss.” Or saving sleep for when we die. All we do is grind by any means necessary. At least that’s how it feels lately. Some more than others. But for the most part “the grind,” has become the popular choice for living. Between side-hustles turning into full-time gigs. And the evolution of our goals becoming more than what we expected. Today’s go-getters without a doubt are fierce at grinding. And I can’t even front, it all looks so sexy, from the outside looking in. With highlights on snap chat, Instagram stories and Facebook live.
It almost makes not-doing shameful. Like, I don’t even hear people talk about “me-time” anymore. The once sought out regiment among the busy is not even a part of the conversation. Because we have things to do and not enough time to do it.
So I say this with caution. Success does not have to be lonely. At least it shouldn’t. This is what I propose. Let’s be successful. Let’s get on our grind. Let’s get things done. Let’s work our asses off. But, let’s define success as more than turning into goal reaching, money-making machines. Because although I am all for us getting our paper and making history with our moves. I find it hard to see the point when you have not learned how to maintain and manage the important things in life. Like, your relationships with God, family, and friends. Or taking a moment for self-care. Or taking the time to live a little outside of the hustle.
I think it’s safe to say, we all need this reminder.
I have a plan for success and it keeps me busy. Trust me, I’ve spent many lonely nights in front of my computer, getting things done. And I missed my share of family gatherings. And it never fails, as I tackle one goal for sure another one will be added. But when my sis said, “I miss you.” It was a reminder that success is not only about the money I make, or accolades received, or the goals reached. It’s also in those days when I just show up to let those I love know I love them. It’s taking a moment to love, be love and enjoy life where you are.